Riot Grrrl

May 20, 2013

Mon, 20 May 2013 17:09:01 -0400

The sun heats the pond till it rises, invisible.
Clouds cast shadows on the hilltops.

Do you recognize my perfume?
It’s the same the wet grass wears when

trying to seduce bare feet.
You’re topless. I’m not. I’ve always envied you

men. Not in any Freudian sense, just the
legal right to take your shirt off,

to get burnt all over your belly, to peel.
What’s indecent

about the part of me that nursed you
when all you knew of woman was

mother, protector, milk?
You nestle against me,

trying to fit me into your ribs. .
Does it bother you

that I’m not here for your convenience,
but because I want to be

lying here outside between
your body?

May 18, 2013

Sun, 19 May 2013 16:54:00 -0400

I’m sitting in a field, sipping wine the color
of wind. Wind is the color of water, so maybe
the wine is water. I’m too drunk to tell.

Two kinds of dandelions grow here,
ones that look like suns and ones that can be
wished on. And there are little white flowers

with the texture of paper.
I press my feet into the grass
and my lips to the glass.

I look up to the sky, where it looks like
someone’s ironed out all the fissures.
I bet if I ran my finger across it,

the powder blue would part.
I pray to the moon, the half-moon,
half of half of the moon.

But I feel sorry for the earth.
She’ll never see the sun
up close, and she knows it

by heart.

I read a poem and thought it was something you would love. Tumblr won't let me include a link here, but it'll show up if you search Laurie Penny's Saudade on Google.

Sat, 18 May 2013 16:24:32 -0400

This is such a visceral, powerful piece. Thank you for calling it to my attention.

You're brilliant. Love, Anne

Wed, 08 May 2013 10:26:50 -0400

Back atcha baby.

An Alternative to God

Tue, 07 May 2013 18:20:52 -0400

CHARACTERS

TAMRA Leor’s daughter, about 20 years old

LEOR Tamra’s mother, about 60 years old

EDEN Yale’s mother, in her 50’s or 60’s

YALE Eden’s son, in his early 20’s

SETTING

Leor’s bedroom/Eden’s house

TIME

June 2013

SCENE 1

(It is early morning. LEOR is sitting up in bed reading a book and drinking tea. She hears TAMRA enter the house through the front door and climb the stairs. TAMRA enters the room, carrying a suitcase. LEOR puts the book down on the nightstand and opens her arms to her daughter. They embrace).

LEOR

Tam! I’m so glad you came home for the summer. I missed you so much. I eat more when you’re not here. A lot more. I find myself buying all the foods you like, grapefruits and Greek yogurt. Days go by, and of course no one eats them.

TAMRA

I’ve missed you too.

LEOR

And you know they have this thing called the Lower Price Project at the grocery store? Like it’s a long-term project not to rob me of my entire retirement fund every time I go there to buy a couple of rotting tomatoes and some soymilk. I said it’s an outrage. I said let me speak to the manager. And the manager came out and I said sir, it’s not a project. It’s not a project that I don’t come in here with a box of matches and some gasoline and set this place up in flames, just burn it right down, give the fire fighters something to do, besides look at child pornography all day. That’s not a project. I just don’t do it. Anyway, how are you?

TAMRA

…Scared.

LEOR

Of what?

TAMRA

You know, graduating. Joining society.

LEOR

Mmmh.

TAMRA

I mean, what if I don’t fit in anywhere? What if I have to live on the outskirts of town, as a hermit or an outlaw or a monk or something?

LEOR

Nonsense. Towns don’t have outskirts any more.

TAMRA

You know that’s not true.

LEOR

I know. Don’t worry. I think all young people are scared of getting older.

TAMRA

What about old people?

LEOR

(Chuckling)

We’re scared we won’t.

TAMRA

You’re not old, mom.

LEOR

Darling, would you get me another cup of tea?

TAMRA

Sure. New bag or old bag?

LEOR

What?

TAMRA

Would you like a new tea bag, or should I just add some more hot water?

LEOR

Oh. New bag. Get rid of the old bag.

TAMRA

Gotcha.

(TAMRA exits)

LEOR

(Addressing the audience)

I think people have children as an alternative to religion. At least I did. I think we all need something to live for. All right. I’m just going to tell you what’s up, since no one goes to the theater to sit around and wait for the exposition. I have stage four cancer. Which means nothing to me, except that I have children. There are people who think suicide should be legalized. I’m one of them. I mean, nobody chooses to get born. At least as far as I know. But once you have children, it’s different. It’s a kind of covenant. I can’t just stop treatment, much as I hate the radiation, the chemotherapy, the hair loss, the memory loss. The treatment affects your memory. Nobody told me that. I don’t know if suicide should be legal. It’s complicated. I don’t know what the law should do.

(TAMRA reenters with a mug of tea).

But I know what I should do.

TAMRA

What should you do?

LEOR

Get some sleep; that’s what I should do.

TAMRA

Now?

LEOR

In a little bit. What were we talking about just now?

TAMRA

Monks, hermits, outlaws.

LEOR

Ah. That’s right. Don’t be scared. Nothing to be scared of. You’ll do just fine.

TAMRA

Promise?

LEOR

Swear.

TAMRA

On your life?

LEOR

On my life.

TAMRA

On my life?

LEOR

Nope.

(Beat)

Can’t do that.

(TAMRA protests, but her voice is muffled by the sound of an electric guitar. The neighbors are at it again).

TAMRA

(Raising her voice over the chords)

What’s that noise?

LEOR

The neighbors! They’re at it again!

TAMRA

Which neighbors?

LEOR

New ones. We have new ones. The Isherwoods moved away.

TAMRA

Good riddance.

LEOR

Yes.

TAMRA

But this is bad, too. I mean, didn’t you want to go to sleep?

LEOR

Well…

TAMRA

No this is unacceptable. I’m going over there. I’m going to tell them to turn that shit off or I’m calling the police. They can’t do this. They don’t have a permit. You need a permit to make noise when other people are trying to sleep. And I bet they don’t have one.

LEOR

No don’t go over there. It’s fine. They have a permit.

TAMRA

No they don’t.

LEOR

They do.

TAMRA

Did you see it?

LEOR

The permit?

TAMRA

Yes.

LEOR

Yes.

TAMRA

(Raising one or both eyebrows)

What did it look like?

(Beat)

I’m going over there.

LEOR

I don’t think you should go there.

TAMRA

Well why not?

LEOR

I’ve heard things about the woman who bought that house.

TAMRA

Whatever you heard, it can’t be worse than this insufferable strumming activity.

LEOR

I’ve heard she’s a witch. Straight out Salem. I’ve heard she’s a certified witch, with a Ph.D. in homeopathy. And I’ve seen things. The shades are always down over there so you can’t see in through the windows. And there are never any lights on, even when their car is there so I know they’re home. Apparently the woman who lives there spends all day up in the attic making spells, or whatever it is witches do when the rest of us are working or playing or paying bills or drinking coffee or answering the phone or-

TAMRA

Mom. I’m going over there.

LEOR

Fine. I warned you.

TAMRA

I’m just going to ask her very politely to turn it the fuck down. And then I’ll come right home. Okay, Mom?

LEOR

Okay.

TAMRA

It’s just not fair that you can’t sleep.

LEOR

Okay.

(Beat)

I wish I could freeze the season. So I could have more time with you.

(Beat)

Before you go back to school.

TAMRA

Don’t worry Mom. I’ll be right back.

LEOR

I know.

SCENE 2

(Outside EDEN’s house. It is as LEOR said: there are no lights on in the house and all the shades are down. TAMRA raps at the door. The music is so overwhelmingly loud that she needs to bang on the door to be heard. After several moments, YALE answers the door, electric guitar in hand).

TAMRA

…You’re not a witch. I mean you’re not a woman. I…

(Beat)

…apologize. Hi. I’m Tamra. I’m your neighbor. My mother is trying to sleep, and… she’s… having some trouble with that.

YALE

Sorry to hear it.

TAMRA

It’s uh… it’s because of the music.

YALE

You could hear my music from way over there?

TAMRA

Yeah.

YALE

Which house do you live in?

TAMRA

The one next door.

YALE

Oh. Sorry about that.

(Beat)

Did you at least like it? The song.

TAMRA

(Lying very well)

It’s great, man.

YALE

Thanks. You wanna come in?

(Seeing her hesitation)

Aw… come on. Come in. I just moved here. I don’t know anybody here except you. So you have a responsibility.

TAMRA

What responsibility?

YALE

To make me feel welcome.

TAMRA

In your own home?

YALE

Yeah.

(They step indoors)

TAMRA

Does it have a title?

YALE

Does what have a title?

TAMRA

The song.

YALE

Nope. No title. It used to have a title though. Also used to have lyrics.

TAMRA

What happened?

YALE

They were stolen.

TAMRA

Plagiarized?

YALE

No. Actually stolen.

TAMRA

How? Who pilfers lyrics and titles?

YALE

You’d be surprised. I was held up. At gunpoint. Guy comes along, gets me up against the wall, demands to see all the money I have. So I show him all the money I have, which is no money, so he has me empty my pockets ‘cause he doesn’t believe me. But all I’ve got on me is my notebook full of lyrics and some cigarettes. But the guy doesn’t smoke, he quit three months ago, but he’s already gone through all the trouble to hold me up, he’d be embarrassed to go home empty handed. So he takes the songbook. And he lets me go.

TAMRA

Okay I see.

YALE

Can I ask you something?

TAMRA

Okay.

YALE

Who were you expecting when you came to the door?

TAMRA

I don’t know. Someone female.

YALE

You said something about a witch.

TAMRA

Sorry, I don’t know where that came from. I was nervous.

YALE

Nervous.

TAMRA

Yeah, nervous. I get nervous, and I say things.

YALE

Things?

TAMRA

I just… never mind.

YALE

Because, you know, you’re right. My mom’s a witch. At least she thinks she is.

TAMRA

What do you mean?

YALE

I’ve got Leukemia. She’s working on a cure for it. Says she’s almost got it.

TAMRA

What? But… how?

YALE

Hell if I know. She’s apparently really good at medicine, or magic, or whatever the fuck it is. Top of her class. She’s got a room upstairs full of plants and herbs and colored candles.

TAMRA

Your mom thinks she can… cure cancer.

YALE

Yeah. Pretty much.

TAMRA

Do you believe it?

YALE

I believe she believes it. But whatever potion she comes up with, I’m not drinking it.

TAMRA

No?

YALE

No.

TAMRA

Why not?

YALE

Well, I don’t mind dying really. As long as I die like Hobbes.

TAMRA

How did Hobbes die?

YALE

Trying to square the circle.

(Beat)

You know, trying to make the area of a square equal that of a circle. Which you can’t do because of pi.

TAMRA

So if you can’t do it, and you know you can’t do it, why do you want to die trying to do it?

YALE

Because it’s impossible. So if I manage to do it I’ll be pleasantly surprised. Nothing worthwhile in achieving something that’s possible. You already know you can do it.

TAMRA

I think you’ve got it backwards. You know you can’t do the impossible thing-

YALE

(Exasperated)

Exactly. That’s the whole point.

TAMRA

You would love my mother.

YALE

Do you?

TAMRA

What?

YALE

Love your mother.

TAMRA

Yeah, of course.

YALE

Because you can tell me if you don’t. I mean it doesn’t matter.

TAMRA

I think it matters.

YALE

Really? If you make her feel loved, does it really matter if you really love her or not?

TAMRA

I love my mother.

YALE

Of course you do.

TAMRA

So how long has your mom been working on the cure?

YALE

As long as I’ve been sick.

(Beat)

Three years. I wish she’d give it up already. Take up a hobby. I don’t hope like she does. I mean, don’t get me wrong, I’d like to live long enough to go to college, get a job, move out and shit, and I bet I’ve got at least another two years, since I’m young. How old are you?

TAMRA

I’m twenty.

YALE

Yeah, me too.

(Beat)

TAMRA

Hey, I think I’m gonna, um, head back now. I haven’t seen my mom in a few months and we were just catching up when…

YALE

Sorry about the music.

TAMRA

It’s no problem. Really. It was nice to meet you, man.

YALE

My name’s Yale.

TAMRA

It was nice to meet you.

YALE

Hey, will you come back tonight?

TAMRA

What for?

YALE

To help me square it.

(Beat)

The circle.

TAMRA

Oh. Yeah.

YALE

You will?

TAMRA

I mean…

YALE

Please?

TAMRA

I guess I can come back.

SCENE 3

(We are back in LEOR’s bedroom. LEOR is smoking a joint. Once again, she addresses the audience directly).

LEOR

Once Tam and I went on a vacation in Cape Cod… she was just a little girl. It was one of those nights where the sky refuses to go black and goes ocean blue instead. We walked along the boardwalk sharing a peanut butter ice cream. A breeze was streaming through the air like a soundtrack… like a bit of music in a filmstrip… so perfect, so fitting, you don’t notice it till the scene is over. The boardwalk was littered with lights, lights at every turn, trying to out flash each other. We passed the ice cream back and forth like some people pass bottles or blunts. Marijuana… stops the nausea but stops my thoughts too… everything slips out of focus it’s like I need glasses for the inside of my head. Anyway, the lights… these cheap electric rainbows… Tam’s always loved rainbows… she used to stand outside for hours on end whenever one would appear, no matter how small or how faint it was. She would stand there, arms outstretched, like a ballerina, arms in second position. We rode the ferris wheel together… I’ve never been one for rides, but the ferris wheel is different. You sit down in a little car, and the little car takes you up in a slow arc, and up, and up, till you’re all the way up, and then you’re at the top, hoisted above the boardwalk, on par with the wind, backlit by blue. Then you come down in the same slow arc… you’re following the same path as the people in the car in front of you… and you can see where they’ve just been, that’s where you’re going to be in just a second, and the people behind you…

(We hear TAMRA open the door and climb the stairs. LEOR looks down the joint in her hand like she’s deciding whether or not to hide it. TAMRA peaks her head in the door. Finding her mother awake, she enters).

LEOR

I don’t like the stuff. But it stops the nausea.

TAMRA

(Nodding)

Yeah.

(Beat)

Did you get any sleep?

LEOR

Yes, a little bit, as soon as the music stopped.

TAMRA

(Crosses to the bed and sits on it)

Have any dreams?

LEOR

Yes, but they were all about doing chores. I was dreaming about everything I have to get done— about cleaning up, buying paper towels, calling the phone company, preparing my classes for the fall. I’d much rather have been awake and doing the things I was dreaming about. And then, I started to have one of those awful traffic dreams, where I dream I’m stuck in traffic for hours, and that’s it, that’s the whole dream. But as soon as the dream started I stopped it. I just refused to have the dream, and then I woke up.

TAMRA

You can do that?

LEOR

You have to, when you’re having traffic dreams. There’s just no other way.

TAMRA

Do you ever have dreams where you’re someone else? Like, you’re a character in the dream, only you don’t look like yourself… you’re in a different body?

LEOR

Not that I remember, no. Why, do you?

TAMRA

Yeah… once I dreamt I was a middle aged woman. Another time, I dreamt I was a bunch of cats.

LEOR

You were a bunch of cats?

TAMRA

Yeah… and then one time… I stole an apple and that night I dreamt I was a snake, and I was on trial.

LEOR

Adam and Eve.

TAMRA

You know I never understood the snake in that story. Why did he tempt Eve to eat the apple? I mean, what was in it for him?

LEOR

Maybe he wanted to eat it himself, but first he had to make sure it wasn’t poison.

(Beat)

You haven’t told me yet… what was it like over there? At Eden’s.

TAMRA

At whose?

LEOR

The neighbor’s… I think her name is Eden.

TAMRA

Oh, I never saw her.

LEOR

Then how did you get the music to stop?

TAMRA

I saw her son. Yale. He was the one playing the music.

LEOR

I didn’t know she had a son.

TAMRA

Yeah, she does. I think I made friends with him.

LEOR

But you aren’t sure?

TAMRA

I mean I’m pretty sure. He asked me to hang out tonight. We’re going to square the circle.

LEOR

That sounds like fun.

TAMRA

It’s impossible.

LEOR

Oh. How long do you imagine it will take you?

TAMRA

I really don’t know… I’ll try and be home before it’s too late.

(Beat)

He’s sick. Yale’s sick. He has Leukemia.

LEOR

How do you know that?

TAMRA

He told me. He just flat out told me.

LEOR

How old is he?

TAMRA

My age.

LEOR

Oh, that’s just terrible. Is he in treatment?

TAMRA

He didn’t tell me. I didn’t ask.

LEOR

It’s terrible.

TAMRA

It is.

LEOR

When you go, bring him some of this.

(Indicates the marijuana. She takes some and transfers it to a little plastic bag, which she hands off to TAMRA).

It’s really the only thing that helps.

TAMRA

Thanks, mom.

LEOR

Of course. Darling?

(TAMRA looks up at LEOR)

…Another cup of tea?

(LEOR picks up her mug from the night table. She holds it out to TAMRA).

New bag.

(TAMRA takes the mug from LEOR. Lights fade).

SCENE 4

(Evening. TAMRA and YALE are sitting on a couch, some distance apart. Each of them has a notebook and a pencil. They are trying to square the circle. TAMRA is furiously writing and erasing and writing and erasing. YALE, on the other hand, is having trouble concentrating. Every now and then, he sneaks a glance at TAMRA).

TAMRA

(Without looking up from her notebook)

Did you get it yet?

YALE

Get what?

(Beat)

Um… no. Did you?

TAMRA

Not yet. But I did some research, and apparently there’s hope because of the Lune of Hippocrates. It’s a curved shape, and you can calculate its exact area.

YALE

What? How?

TAMRA

It has a right angle for a diameter-

YALE

What do you mean a right angle for a diameter? A diameter is a line not an angle.

TAMRA

No, you take the diameter of the circle and you draw a right triangle, and the area of the triangle is going to equal the area of the lune.

YALE

I thought a loon was a bird.

TAMRA

Why don’t I draw it for you?

YALE

Look, I don’t know. Maybe we should do something else.

TAMRA

No, I think I’m getting closer. Just give me a few more minutes.

YALE

It doesn’t matter how close you think you’re getting. It can’t be done.

TAMRA

But isn’t that the point? Didn’t you say that was the point?

YALE

Yeah, I guess so.

TAMRA

Anyway, the reason it’s supposed to be impossible is that pi is a transcendental number, so-

YALE

Transcendental? What, it meditates? It reads Emerson?

TAMRA

You know, you suggested this. You invited me here to do this. This was your idea.

YALE

Yeah, you’re right. I did. It’s just-

TAMRA

What?

YALE

I wanted company, that’s all.

TAMRA

Well, you could have just said that. You didn’t have to make up some story about how you needed help squaring the circle when you don’t even think it can be done.

YALE

You’re right. I don’t think it can be done.

TAMRA

Well, I’m going to prove you wrong.

YALE

Okay.

TAMRA

(Returning to her notebook)

Can we turn on a light? It’s getting kind of dark.

YALE

Uh… no.

TAMRA

Why not?

YALE

I think there’s plenty of light.

TAMRA

Really? I can’t even see what I’m writing. It would be very helpful, um, if we could just turn on that lamp over there.

YALE

We can’t do that.

TAMRA

Why not?

YALE

Look, there’s plenty of light, okay? Just trust me. You can see fine.

(He moves in closer to her and they lock eyes. He kisses her).

TAMRA

(Pulling back abruptly)

Isn’t your mom home?

YALE

We don’t have to worry about her. She never comes out of the attic.

(He kisses her again. She gradually relaxes into it).

TAMRA

(Pulling back to look at YALE)

Oh. Before I forget. I brought you something.

YALE

Yeah?

TAMRA

Yeah.

(She reaches into her purse and pulls out the plastic bag containing the marijuana).

It’s, um…

YALE

Bud?

TAMRA

Uh-huh.

YALE

For me?

TAMRA

Uh-huh.

YALE

You smoke?

TAMRA

Me? No not really. I mean not often.

YALE

Smoke with me?

TAMRA

No it’s for you.

YALE

Thanks, yo. Where’d you get it, by the way? I can’t seem to find anyone around here who deals.

TAMRA

My… mom… gave it to me.

YALE

She must be pretty cool.

TAMRA

She is.

YALE

I’d like to meet her. The mom who shares weed with her daughter. That’s like, holy.

TAMRA

Mmmh.

YALE

Do you mind if I smoke?

TAMRA

No, not at all.

YALE

(Pulling a bong and a lighter out of his pocket)

I’ve been craving this all day. You’re pretty psychic.

TAMRA

Am I?

YALE

Yeah. I bet you could make a lot of money working in one of those psychic booths, reading tarot cards and palms and futures and fortunes.

(He lights up and takes a hit).

TAMRA

I’ve always wondered about psychics… like, how many of them are really psychics, how many of them really think they’re psychics-

YALE

And how many of them know they’re faking.

TAMRA

Yes!

YALE

Yeah, I’ve thought about that too. Here, wanna hit?

TAMRA

All right.

(She takes the bong from YALE and brings it to her lips. YALE lights it and TAMRA inhales sharply. She holds her breath for a few seconds and then exhales, coughing. She hands the bong back to YALE).

YALE

(Playfully)

Hey! You got lipstick all over my bong!

TAMRA

(Coughing or laughing or both)

Sorry!

YALE

That’s okay. Hey, you’re so far away. I can’t believe you can even hear me from way over there.

TAMRA

I’m right here. I’m right next to you.

YALE

Yeah but that’s far.

TAMRA

I could… come closer if that would make it easier… for you to hear me.

YALE

What?

TAMRA

I could come closer.

YALE

Huh?

(TAMRA moves in closer to YALE. He puts his arms around her).

TAMRA

I SAID I CAN COME CLOSER.

YALE

Yeah, okay, if you want.

(They erupt with laughter. Cackling mightily, TAMRA falls off of the couch and onto the floor. In the process, she knocks over the table in front of the couch. The contents of the table also fall to the floor; some of them fall onto TAMRA).

TAMRA

Ow! Yo! Dude! We have to turn on a light!

YALE

Why do you keep saying that?

TAMRA

Because I can’t see anything.

YALE

You don’t have to see anything. Stop obsessing. I’ll clean up the mess in the morning.

TAMRA

No, I’m serious. We really need some light in here. I don’t want to keep banging into shit.

YALE

Just relax. Stop being so paranoid.

TAMRA

I’m not paranoid. I just-

YALE

You’re what? Afraid of the dark?

TAMRA

I want to be able to see so I don’t-

YALE

You want to see, fine. But there are other ways of seeing.

TAMRA

What are you talking about?

YALE

Vision isn’t seeing. It’s not the same thing. Vision is what your eyes take in; it’s always other; it’s always outside you. The only way you can ever see yourself is in a mirror, and even then, you’re looking at somebody else. The other senses aren’t like that. Sometimes you’re in a room with someone and you hear a sound like someone breathing, and you’re not sure who’s just exhaled, you, or them, or both of you together. You see? Sight is like speech. It prevents you from really listening.

TAMRA

Okay, but it also prevents you from knocking into furniture in other people’s homes, especially when don’t know where anything is because you’ve only been there once before, and not for very long, and the conversation was so weird you didn’t pay any attention to what the room looked like.

YALE

Is that really all you care about? How the interior of my house looks? Or doesn’t look? Or whatever the fuck?

TAMRA

No!

YALE

Liar. You’re lying.

TAMRA

What? Really?.

YALE

You’re lying. You’re lying in my living room.

TAMRA

I’m not. I swear.

YALE

Whatever. Forget it. I’m tired. Do you wanna… um…

TAMRA

Do I want to what?

YALE

…Go?

TAMRA

Oh. You mean like… leave?

YALE

Yeah, uh… yeah.

TAMRA

Yeah, you know what, I do. I do want to leave because even though you asked me here, practically begged me to come here on your knees, I’m not having fun. And I bet you’ll miss me, too, because I’m the only friend you have here and I bet you won’t make any more ‘cause you’re nuts.

YALE

I’m nuts? I’m nut nots. You’re nuts. You’re bonkers. You’re a wacko pseudo-intellectual hipster poser girl and you’re crazy. I wish I never invited you over.

(TAMRA starts to leave).

Next time I play my music too loud don’t come over ‘cause I won’t turn it down.

(Blackout).

SCENE 5

(Nighttime, maybe an hour or two after the end of scene 4. YALE has fallen asleep on the living room couch. He sprawled out in a fetal position. EDEN, in a tattered nightgown, emerges at the top of the stairs. She holds a candle in one hand and a little vial in the other. She descends the stairs with excruciating slowness, as quietly as she can, so as not to wake her son. She crosses to the couch and leans over her son, stroking his hair. Then, with deliberation, almost in slow motion, she raises the vial above her son’s ear and tips it upside down. At the first touch of the liquid, YALE jolts awake and recoils. EDEN quickly flips the vial upright, so as not to lose its contents).

YALE

Mom? Mom?

EDEN

Yes. It’s me.

YALE

What’s going on?

EDEN

You fell asleep on the living room couch.

(Beat)

I think you had a friend over before.

YALE

Yeah, Tamra. She’s my age; she lives next door.

EDEN

Nice girl?

YALE

Yeah, nice girl.

EDEN

Is she Jewish?

YALE

Ma, I don’t know. Does everyone I talk to have to be Jewish?

EDEN

No, no, of course not.

YALE

So what’s up? I haven’t seen you in, like, weeks. How… how are you?

EDEN

I’ve never been better. I’ve done it. Son, I’ve done it.

YALE

(Fearing the answer)

Done what?

EDEN

I’ve come up with the cure. Now you’ll be able to stop that awful treatment and focus on applying to schools. And next year you can go off and study music at some quaint liberal arts college or conservatory off in the mountains, or in some glittering city with used bookstores and street-side boutiques. Doesn’t that sound nice?

YALE

Mom, why don’t you get some rest?

(Beat)

I mean congratulations.

EDEN

I don’t think you understand what this means for us.

YALE

What do you want me to say, mom?

EDEN

I don’t want you to say anything. I just want you to drink it.

YALE

I told you mom, I’m not interested in home-made medicine. I’m ready to stop treatment, maybe, but I’m not ready to start drinking rabbit blood.

EDEN

Who said anything about rabbit blood? It’s just plants and a little enchantment.

YALE

Thanks anyway, mom.

(Beat)

Is that why you came down here? To get me to drink whatever’s in that vial?

EDEN

Actually, I was going to pour it into your ear.

YALE

What? Why?

EDEN

I know you aren’t going to drink it, that’s why.

YALE

But mom, you can’t just— what am I, King Hamlet?

EDEN

No, but you are my son and-

YALE

And what? You can’t just do what you just did. It’s illegal and immoral and I could get you in a lot of trouble for that if I wanted to. You can’t just pour poison into someone else ear, even if they’re your son.

EDEN

It’s not poison. It’s medicine.

YALE

Yeah, well, I’m not so sure you know the difference.

EDEN

You have so little faith in me.

YALE

Ma, forget about me. What about you? What about all the things you could be doing instead of whatever you’re doing up in that attic. You could go back to being a doctor! And you could plant a garden! A real garden, one outside, and other people could come by and visit. You could pay the electric bill, so I can have a friend over without feeling embarrassed when she wants to turn on a light!

EDEN

I’m sorry.

YALE

I’m sorry. For saying that. I lo-

EDEN

I know you do. And I love you too. That’s why-

YALE

Mom, I know, I know, I never doubted it.

SCENE 6

(Lights up in LEOR’s bedroom).

LEOR

I want you to forgive me. I want you to understand I would never have brought a child into a world I intended to leave. I had her after the sickness went away, while it was on vacation. The doctors told me it might come back, that one of the side effects of cancer treatment is cancer. Cancer! But I wanted to believe it was gone, I had to, or else how could I go on? It came back for the first time when Tam was six or seven, too young to understand. I fought for my life. For her. For myself, too. I wanted to live to see her dance recital that June, where she played a water lily. She wore this turquoise costume, a leotard and a skirt that looked like Monet himself had painted it. I couldn’t miss that. I promised her I’d be there. And I was there. I was there with roses. Red, orange, and yellow roses. Half the rainbow. I held half the rainbow in my arms as I watched my girl dance. You should have seen the way she smiled when I gave her those roses. When we got home, we put them in a vase on her desk by her bed, and she smiled for weeks.

I got sick again three years ago. Tam was 17. Since then, I’ve been on chemotherapy, radiation, steroids, antidepressants, you name it, I’ve been on it. I think maybe the steroids are the worst. The chemo took my hair, nails, eyebrows, and eyelashes, but the steroids took my mind. Not just my brain but my mind. They made it harder to remember things. They made it harder to think. But they also changed how I think. And act. And speak. One night in November Tam came home too late, and she wasn’t wearing a coat. She walked through the door and I lunged at her. I called her a filthy bitch, and a whore, and I said I wish she’d never been born. I said those things. I didn’t mean them, of course, but I said them. My self-control just… evaporated over night. Like rain on a sidewalk. If I don’t have my body, or my consciousness, what’s left of me? It’s not fair. It’s not fair the way we’re born into a body and born into a mind, and we don’t even get to choose which body or which mind. Of course, how can you decide which mind you want, if you don’t have a mind to begin with? Nevertheless! It isn’t fair. And there’s no one to blame. I don’t blame God. Even if I believed in God I wouldn’t blame God. God gave me a beautiful daughter, that moment on the boardwalk.

(Sound of TAMRA opening the front door).

Oh.

(Sound of TAMRA climbing the stairs. LEOR crawls into the bed

and pretends to be asleep. Beat. TAMRA enters).

TAMRA

(Whispering)

Are you asleep?

LEOR

(Sitting up and stretching)

Just waking up. How was your night?

TAMRA

I don’t want to talk about it. He wouldn’t let me turn on the light and then when I asked why, he accused me of being a snob, and then when I defended myself he accused me of lying in his living room—which I totally wasn’t—and then he basically kicked me out, and I… I told him he’s nuts and then he called me a pseudo-intellectual hipster poser girl.

LEOR

But… I thought you were going to do math with this boy.

TAMRA

So did I. And we were doing math. But it was late and it was dark and I couldn’t see, but he didn’t seem to think that was a problem at all. He started waxing philosophical about how you don’t need sight, sight is a deficit, but it totally isn’t, especially when you’re trying to geometry, and especially when the geometry you’re trying to do is impossible.

LEOR

That’s weird. I’m sorry it didn’t go so well.

TAMRA

I mean it was going fine until that happened. I don’t really understand what happened.

LEOR

Well, maybe you should ask him.

TAMRA

It’s really quite simple: either I’m bad at Social Interactions or he is. Or we both are.

(Beat)

I don’t get it, mom. Even this weirdo thinks I’m a weirdo.

LEOR

It sounds to me like there was just some miscommunication. Like your signals just got crossed.

TAMRA

He insulted me.

LEOR

You insulted him first.

TAMRA

Don’t take his side!

LEOR

Sorry.

TAMRA

It’s okay.

LEOR

I think you’ll feel better if you talk to this kid. Figure out what went wrong and right it.

TAMRA

What, I should go over there? I should go back over there after he threw me out of his house?

LEOR

Yes. You should go over there.

TAMRA

And…?

LEOR

And look him square in the eye, and ask him what happened.

TAMRA

I don’t know.

LEOR

I think you’ll feel better.

TAMRA

…Maybe.

LEOR

I think he’ll feel better too. He could probably use a friend right now.

TAMRA

Yeah. I guess you’re right.

LEOR

Yes, I am, in this particular instance.

TAMRA

Okay. Fine. I’ll go.

LEOR

Good.

TAMRA

(Starts toward the door, then turns around and crosses back to LEOR)

But… what if he’s a jerk again?

LEOR

Then it’s not your fault. And you’ll know you did what you could to patch things up. Right?

TAMRA

Right.

(Kisses LEOR on the cheek and then exits. We hear the sound of TAMRA

running down the stairs and exiting through the front door).

LEOR

(Adjusts herself to face the audience)

I’m going to wait until she goes back to school. I’m going to make sure it looks like it was the sickness that took me. That’s what the doctors will tell her. And that’s what she’ll believe. I wish there were another way. I do. But I don’t feel like a person anymore, just the sum total of the drugs. And I don’t trust the drugs. I’m afraid of what I might become because of them. I want my daughter to remember me as I am now, before I get worse.

SCENE 7

(Outside EDEN/YALE’s house. TAMRA knocks tentatively at the door. After some moments, EDEN answers the door).

EDEN

Oh. You must be Tamra, that nice Jewish girl who lives next door. Funny, I was just thinking about you.

(Beat)

I’m Eden. Yale’s mom. Did you come to see Yale?

TAMRA

Yes… I did.

EDEN

He’s out right now. Guitar lesson. But he should be back soon. You’re welcome to come in and wait for him.

TAMRA

Oh, that’s okay. I’ll come back later.

EDEN

No, honey, please come in. You must be thirsty on such a hot day.

TAMRA

I’m all right. But thank you.

EDEN

You might change your mind with a tall glass of orange juice in front of you. Do you like orange juice?

TAMRA

Um…

EDEN

(Insisting)

Come on in.

(TAMRA, somewhat hesitantly, follows EDEN in to the house).

I had a feeling you were coming, so I poured you a glass of orange juice.

(They walk into the living room and sit down on the couch. Sure enough, there is a glass of orange juice on the table).

Don’t try to tell me you aren’t thirsty, because I know you are.

TAMRA

(Picks up the glass and takes a large gulp)

Thank you.

(Beat)

Did you say…

EDEN

Yes?

TAMRA

That… you knew I was coming?

EDEN

I was hoping you were.

TAMRA

Oh. May I ask… why?

EDEN

Of course. Yale told me about you. I’m delighted that he’s made a new friend. He hasn’t been very… outgoing in a while. He used to have lots of friends in New Jersey, where we’re from. They used to come over with bags full of clothes, and their toothbrushes, and they’d sleep in my house for weeks. I was the mother of the gang. And I loved it. But then he got sick and it was like he was no longer interested in being around people. When we moved here, just a little while ago, he said he didn’t really feel like he was leaving anyone behind.

(Beat)

Then you came along and all of a sudden I heard him laughing and playing and breaking things for the first time in… three years. There was a glass vase on this table…

(Indicates some shards of glass on the floor)

it belonged to my mother.

(A look of horror flickers across TAMRA’s face)

Don’t worry! I’m glad you broke it! I’m glad you kids had fun. What good is an empty vase anyway? That vase hasn’t held flowers for years. You don’t know how happy it made me, to hear you two kids making so much noise, having so much fun, smashing things, it was music to my ears.

TAMRA

I am so sorry.

EDEN

Don’t be sorry! Please don’t be sorry. I am very grateful to you, my child, for breathing life back into my son. Thank you.

(Beat)

I want to ask you for one more favor.

(TAMRA nods)

I don’t know if Yale’s told you what I’ve been working on…

TAMRA

He has.

EDEN

Has he told you I’ve succeeded?

TAMRA

No.

EDEN

Of course not. The boy doesn’t believe me. But that’s where you can help.

TAMRA

What, exactly, are you asking me to do?

EDEN

I want you to convince him to take it. To take the cure I’ve made.

TAMRA

What makes you think I can do that?

EDEN

He likes you. He doesn’t think you’re crazy.

TAMRA

Actually—

EDEN

Also, you’re not his mom. I think he might listen to you.

TAMRA

But how do I know it’s really the cure?

EDEN

Listen, I was the best in my class in medical school. I worked for ten years at one of the top hospitals in the country. What happened was, I started to experiment with new remedies, with exotic plants, with herbs and spices, with ancient chants and enchantments. Not because I believed in magic. Because it worked. I’d seen other doctors do it. In back alleys. Doctors performed miracles and called it medicine. I saw terminal illnesses erased, like pencil sketches. And so when I was faced with a patient I couldn’t cure by traditional, acceptable methods… he was HIV positive… I… I turned to these doctors and I asked them to teach me what they knew. And they did. And I cured my patient, but I did it against his will. He sued me, and I was dismissed.

TAMRA

What do you mean, you cured him against his will?

EDEN

I didn’t tell him what I was doing. What I was injecting into him. But he woke up the next morning and he was cured. The virus had just filtered out of his body. I thought he would be overjoyed. I thought anybody would be.

TAMRA

He wasn’t?

EDEN

No. He considered it a gross violation. Of the law, and of his sovereignty over his body. I had thought… if your case is hopeless, if you’re going to die anyway, wouldn’t you try anything, even if the odds of it working are so small, they’re negligible? Because what’s the worst that could happen?

TAMRA

I get that.

EDEN

What I never found out is why he was angry. Was it because the injection could have killed him, or was it because it actually cured him?

(Beat)

I’ll never know.

TAMRA

What I find… somewhat difficult… to accept is, if you really cured HIV, why doesn’t anybody know about it? Wouldn’t the media have eaten that story up?

(Beat)

And why are people still dying from AIDS if there’s a cure?

EDEN

I’ve never been able to reproduce what I made for that patient. It’s as simple as that.

TAMRA

I don’t know. This story doesn’t really add up.

EDEN

If you want I can show you the attic. I can show you every ingredient, and explain to you what it does.

TAMRA

Why don’t you just show Yale?

EDEN

He doesn’t want to see.

TAMRA

Then I can’t help you.

EDEN

But you’ve got to.

TAMRA

No, I don’t.

EDEN

Listen to me, my son is—

(We hear the sound of YALE opening the door. The conversation screeches to a halt. YALE enters).

YALE

Tamra?

EDEN

She came by to see you. I invited her in for a glass of orange juice.

YALE

Oh. Cool.

EDEN

Well, I’ll leave you kids to your noise making and vase breaking and whatnot. I’ll be upstairs if you need me.

(Eyes TAMRA sharply, then retreats to the attic)

TAMRA

Hey.

YALE

Hey.

TAMRA

I guess I’m just a little confused about last night…

YALE

Yeah. Look. I didn’t mean those mean things I said.

TAMRA

Yeah me neither.

YALE

I think you’re cool and smart and not at all pseudo. For the record.

TAMRA

Thanks, man. You’re kind of cool yourself.

YALE

Also, I’ve been thinking about the lunes.

(Beat)

Ya know. Of Hippocrates.

TAMRA

What about them?

YALE

Well, theoretically… if you can make the area of a lune equal to the area of a right triangle…

TAMRA

Yes?

YALE

Then, all you need to do is divide a circle into lunes and you can square it.

TAMRA

Okay. I’m following you. But it would have to be a very specific number of lunes, like, two or… eight or… eighteen.

YALE

Twice any perfect square.

TAMRA

Yes! And the lunes would all have to have the same area.

YALE

Yeah.

TAMRA

But can we actually do that?

YALE

I don’t know. Let’s try it.

(He opens a notebook on the table, picks up a pencil, draws a circle, and begins to divide it into lunes).

TAMRA

(Peering over his shoulder)

But the thing is, we can’t account for the whole circle with lunes. No matter how many lunes we draw, we’ll always have space left over.

YALE

I bet we can get really close though.

TAMRA

But lots of people have gotten really close. The point is to get so close you’re there, you’ve done it, you’ve solved it. And I don’t think it can be done.

YALE

Well I’m going to prove you wrong.

TAMRA

Okay.

(YALE turns to a new page in his notebook and draws a big circle. He tries to divide it into two lunes).

YALE

Nah, can’t divide it into two lunes. You end up with one lune and one shape that sorta looks like a lemon.

(He rips out the sheet of paper, crumples it up and throws it into the audience).

Let’s try eight.

TAMRA

I’m telling you—

YALE

Let’s try it. We have to try it. We can’t just trust the people who tell us it can’t be done. Because how do they know? Just because they can’t do it doesn’t mean nobody can. Like, who has the right to say something’s impossible for all of humankind?

TAMRA

Some very skilled mathematicians.

YALE

Still. We can’t just take it on faith. Everybody told Galileo that Jupiter couldn’t possibly have any moons. But he looked for the moons, and he found them.

TAMRA

Nobody thought there were moons because they couldn’t see them. Because they weren’t looking through telescopes like Galileo.

YALE

Appearances deceive, I guess. Things aren’t what they seem. Or, they are what they seem, but they’re also other things, too. Like, light is like that.

TAMRA

(Nodding)

You have to put it through a prism to see the colors.

YALE

It’s white but it’s also red, orange, yellow, green, blue, indigo, and violet. And more.

TAMRA

More?

YALE

Yeah, but we can’t see it. Some animals can see it, what comes before the red and after the violet, and the most subtle shades in between. Like, butterflies can see it. So can sparrows.

TAMRA

So, what does a butterfly see when he looks at another butterfly?

YALE

Ha. I don’t know. But I like to imagine it.

TAMRA

Mmm…

YALE

You know… the lune is a beautiful shape.

(Beat)

It looks like the moon in profile.

TAMRA

It does. You could give it a face, and it would be like the moons in cartoons. You know, the ones on the TV screen that are always smiling, and presiding over these teeny tiny stars, like a mother duck over her ducklings. Of course really the stars are way bigger than the moon. But the TV somehow makes us believe it’s the other way around.

YALE

Yeah.

(Draws her close to him)

TAMRA

It’s also funny how we worship the moon, and it’s a satellite of ours.

YALE

(Looking her square in the eye)

I really want to go back to school, Tamra. I miss this. Exchanging ideas. Being around people.

TAMRA

Then you should do it!

YALE

I know. But I don’t want things to pick up again before they fall down. Like, if I go out and have the greatest four years of my life in college and then die the next year… what was the point? A waste of time and money.

(Beat)

Like, I’ll go out and acquire all this knowledge, and I’ll never get to use it.

TAMRA

The thing is you don’t know how much time you have. You can’t know.

YALE

Yeah, but there’s a high probability…

TAMRA

Maybe.

YALE

So that’s why… I’m thinking of drinking that potion my mom made.

(Beat)

Like, why not? If it works I win everything and if it doesn’t I lose nothing.

TAMRA

When you put it like that… I guess it makes sense.

YALE

Yeah. How ‘bout you? What are your plans?

TAMRA

For life?

YALE

For life.

TAMRA

After school… I want to do something in public action.

YALE

Like, helping people?

TAMRA

Mmm. It’s just… the problem is…

YALE

What?

TAMRA

Well, I’m not very good with people. I’m really shy.

YALE

(Teasing)

Oh yeah?

TAMRA

I like people. I do. It’s just they make me into a nervous wreck.

YALE

You know what I think?

TAMRA

What?

YALE

I think you’re only shy in the beginning. Then, you get to know someone, and you start to feel comfortable around them, and then you’re all these other things; you’re cool and relaxed and friendly and kinda sassy. It’s not that you weren’t those things before, it’s just… ya know… like light without a prism.

SCENE 8

(Nighttime. LEOR sits up in bed in a silk nightgown).

LEOR

People are always so concerned about what their last words are going to be. Some people plan it ahead of time, the last thing they’ll ever say. I’m more interested in the last thing I’ll hear, the last thing I’ll see. Ideally, I’ll be back in Cape Cod. I’ll be standing barefoot at the foot of the ocean, on a patch of iridescent sand. Gulls will sweep the air above the sea, and the sea will sweep the sand beneath my feet. Or else, I’ll be on the boardwalk, in the dark, locking eyes with a crescent moon. These are just fantasies, of course.

(TAMRA, in her pajamas, tiptoes down the hall and stands in the doorway, hidden from LEOR, but visible to the audience).

No one wants to see an old woman drop dead on the shore, or on the boardwalk. Imagine, it’s early September, and you’re trying to enjoy the last few days of your summer vacation, and some strange lady on the beach in a bathing suit drinks a bottle full of pills and lays herself down and dies right in front of your eyes. That would ruin the vacation. So I’ll probably just be at home, in my bed. Or at the hospital, if I can find someone to help me. My only regret is I’ll never get to see what happens to Tam. I’ll never know the woman she’ll grow into. But then, what kind of mother could I be to her, in my condition? My brain has melted like a candle into a pool of wax. Yes, melted wax is still wax. But it can’t hold a wick or a flame.

(TAMRA tiptoes back down the hall. We hear her run down the stairs and out the door. LEOR hears it, too).

Tam must be going out for a midnight walk. She does that sometimes. Maybe she’s going out to see that boy, the witch neighbor’s son. I wonder if she thinks she’s sneaking out, if she thinks I’m fast asleep and can’t hear her leaving.

SCENE 9

(Moments later. Outside Eden/Yale’s house. TAMRA, still in pajamas, knocks at the door. No response. She knocks again. Finally, YALE comes to the door, also in pj’s).

YALE

(Rubbing his eyes)

Hey, T.

TAMRA

Hey.

YALE

Everything okay?

TAMRA

Uh huh.

(Beat)

I actually came, um, to see your mom.

YALE

Oh. Okay. At four in the morning?

TAMRA

It’s important.

YALE

She’s upstairs. She might be awake. You can go up and check, I guess.

TAMRA

Thanks.

YALE

No problem. Good night.

TAMRA

Night.

(She waits for him to exit. Then she begins to climb the stairs).

EDEN

(Off-stage, from way up in the attic)

Yale? Is that you?

TAMRA

It’s… me. It’s Tamra.

(She reaches the top of the stairs, and looks around for EDEN. Then she notices a second staircase, leading up to a large rectangular hole in the ceiling. She realizes this is the attic, and EDEN is up there).

EDEN

(Peeking out of the hole in the ceiling)

Oh, hello dear.

(She climbs down the stairs to meet TAMRA).

How are you? You look… troubled.

TAMRA

I haven’t been able to sleep all night.

EDEN

Why’s that?

TAMRA

I keep thinking about… how you asked me to help you… convince him…

EDEN

…Yes?

TAMRA

And how I refused because… he didn’t seem to want…

EDEN

Oh, honey.

TAMRA

But I think I’ve changed my mind. I want to help you.

EDEN

You do?

(TAMRA nods)

How come?

TAMRA

Today he told me how much he wants to go to college. But he doesn’t want to go if he’s just going to die at the end of it. Because then his education will have gone to waste. I just think it’s so unfair that I can live my life without that fear, that most people can, but he can’t.

EDEN

Yes. I agree.

TAMRA

And then I had this dream tonight that I was him. I was Yale. And I was playing in this… huge pile of autumn leaves… it was almost like a sea. I was swimming in it. Then it got windy, and these golden waves of leaves… rose up and rolled towards me. One of them broke right over my head and pulled me under and held me down. I couldn’t breathe. I kept trying to swim up the surface, but the surface kept receding. Eventually my limbs got tired and I stopped moving. My face went blue and my mind went black, and I drowned.

(Beat)

I want Yale to make it. I want him to be able to grow up, like me. I don’t know if I can persuade him, but…

EDEN

But?

TAMRA

But if you let me have the cure, I can take it home and pour it into a batch of brownies or a pitcher of iced tea or something… and bring it over this afternoon. I won’t… I won’t tell him what’s in it.

EDEN

(Long pause)

Hmmm… that’s actually… not a bad idea. I hadn’t thought of doing that.

TAMRA

I don’t think he would suspect me.

EDEN

And you would… be willing to do it?

TAMRA

I think I would.

EDEN

(Embracing TAMRA)

Oh, honey.

TAMRA

I’ll do it on one condition.

EDEN

Yes?

TAMRA

That you show me the ingredients first. I want to know everything that’s in this elixir before I give it to Yale. Deal?

EDEN

Come on up.

(She disappears into the attic. TAMRA follows. As soon as TAMRA climbs through the hole in the ceiling, the smell of burning incense fills her lungs, and she coughs. The aroma should permeate the audience as well).

Excuse the mess.

TAMRA

I can’t really see anything at all.

EDEN

Let’s light some candles, then, shall we?

TAMRA

Okay.

EDEN

(Strikes a match and lights several Shabbat candles, which form a ring on the floor around them. The mess is now evident. Books and dirt and herbs and broken flowerpots litter the floor).

That’s better. Now, for the cure.

(She rummages through the piles on the floor, while muttering to herself. This goes on for a long and uncomfortable moment. Finally, she emerges from the mess with the vial).

Got it.

TAMRA

So, what’s in it?

EDEN

(Peering into the vial at the purplish liquid inside)

Let’s see… there’s soursop, which comes from an exotic evergreen tree… there’s hemp oil, and rosemary, and parsley… and dill and mint and thyme… and thirty-six drops of rabbit blood…

TAMRA

Rabbit blood?

EDEN

Yes. Thirty-six drops.

(Beat)

A drop for every month Yale’s been sick.

TAMRA

(Does a quick calculation in her head)

Go on.

EDEN

A beam of light from a quarter moon… rose hips… and cinnamon… the cinnamon is just for flavor… and morning dew… and dandelion spores… and wine… the wine is just for color… and some tea leaves and that’s it. Then I boiled it, poured it into this vial, and let it sit for 24 hours.

TAMRA

So… it’s… completely safe and, like, nontoxic and everything?

EDEN

Of course.

TAMRA

And can it cure any kind of cancer?

EDEN

Yes it can. It’s miraculous.

(Beat)

I think this is what God would have made on the seventh day, if he hadn’t fallen asleep.

TAMRA

But he didn’t make it. You did. God just made the problem; you made the solution.

EDEN

(Holds out the vial to TAMRA. TAMRA takes it)

And now it’s in your hands.

TAMRA

I’ll… I’ll be back later this afternoon with the brownies.

EDEN

Thank you, my child.

SCENE 10

(The next morning. LEOR’s bedroom. LEOR sits up in bed, reading a book. TAMRA enters with a mug of tea).

TAMRA

(Setting the mug on LEOR’s night table)

Here, mama.

LEOR

Oh, you’re an angel.

(She picks up the mug and takes a sip)

This isn’t my twig tea.

(Beat)

But it’s good. Fruity.

TAMRA

Yes, it’s… I bought it at the grocery store. It’s pomegranate apple tea.

LEOR

(Taking another sip)

Mmm… it gets sweeter with every sip. Have you tried it?

TAMRA

No.

LEOR

Well, you should make yourself a cup.

(Beat)

Anyway, how was your night?

TAMRA

My night? …Why?

LEOR

You think I don’t know… that I didn’t hear you go out the front door at four AM, and run over there to the neighbors’… to see that boy, whatshisname, Yale, who has Leukemia.

TAMRA

Oh… yeah.

LEOR

I don’t mind. It’s no sin. I s’pose I don’t even need to ask you how your night was, because I heard the whole thing.

TAMRA

You heard… what?

LEOR

I heard the sound of someone strumming chords on a guitar. Two kids sipping cider straight from the bottle. Nervous laughter. Two sets of lips opening and closing but not producing words. I heard my daughter happy… at peace.

TAMRA

Uh huh.

(Beat)

Listen, mom. I have a feeling… you’re going to get better. I really do. So I need you to keep trying. Mom, do you hear me?

LEOR

(Groggy)

Uh huh.

TAMRA

I need you to be there… for my graduation next May. Okay?

(LEOR nods)

You promise me you’ll be there?

LEOR

Yes.

TAMRA

You swear?

LEOR

Yes.

TAMRA

On your—

LEOR

On my life.

TAMRA

Okay. Good. Hey, don’t forget about your tea. It’ll get cold.

(LEOR picks up the mug and drinks. Blackout).

END OF PLAY

On the Cusp of Summer

Mon, 29 Apr 2013 12:30:00 -0400

Birds twitter. Ferns unfurl. The sky looks like the inside
of a geode, so if you’ve never seen a geode, go out and
see the sky. Don’t wait too long. The light dries up and
the colors disappear, as if by magic, as if pulled into a
mirror. Then, you can look up and see stars, looking
up at stars. You might see a star being born in the
ashes of another star, or guiding a sister home.

Thunderstorm

Fri, 26 Apr 2013 21:07:43 -0400

Sunlight like wet paint spills over the horizon.
It gets caught inside the droplets, and lights them
from the inside so they look like tiny lamps.
We run around barefoot. The rain gives us the right.
The muddier we are the merrier we are.

The sky dries up, and raindrops fall asleep in my hair.
I whisper so I don’t wake them. Black filters in to the air.
The air inhales and expands, then it opens its mouth to release…

The calm before the storm is nothing
compared to the way the sky sighs after.

And Moon and Swan Are Gone

Sun, 21 Apr 2013 17:56:00 -0400

Rae scrapes a shaft of light off the wall.
She folds it like a sheet of paper, over
and over, till she’s made a swan.
She carries him outside on her palm.
She sets him on the pond.

He arches to the sky, to pray
to the late moon.

The moon says,
“Where did you come from little bird?
Why haven’t I seen you before?”

He answers,
“I dropped off a star as it set.
I’ve been sleeping on a stranger’s ceiling.”

The moon says,
“Day will take us both.”

“But how do you know?” asks the bird.

The moon throws her head back to the dark.
“I die once a day!”

“Then will you give me feathers, so that I can feel
the water and linger longer in the air when I fly before….”

Morning comes.

Monologue For a Snake

Fri, 19 Apr 2013 12:20:00 -0400

SNAKE: It was night. It was blacker than frostbitten skin. I coiled around her feet. I offered up the apple, saying, “Eve it isn’t sin, and it isn’t poison. Fruit was made to be tasted.” So she took it. She bit into it. She swallowed and her eyes rolled back, like she was having a vision of God. Of course, that happened all the time when the universe was young. We all had visions of God all day. It was like having a radio in your car, where you couldn’t change the channel, and you couldn’t turn it off. Anyway God appeared in His pajamas, and He said, “Eve I trusted you.” And Eve said, “If you trusted me, why did you test me? Why did you plant this tree?” Then she was gone, into exile. People wonder what happened to the garden. After Adam and Eve left, there was nobody to tend to it. The two of them used to run around the fields, planting things and naming things. You think God did all that? God was too busy; I think he was writing his memoir. So Adam and Eve did most of it. Without them, Eden was a wasteland. It crumpled, as all great empires do.

How to Read a Mirror

Mon, 15 Apr 2013 16:57:00 -0400

Stars bathe in daylight.

Blue jays dive into the sky.

Where’s Echo?

Hiding in the hollow of a tree.

It’s a willow tree.

Its boughs fall like hair

down the back of a neck.

They dangle over the water.

Narcissus leans over the water.

He bows his head. He leans in

close, like he’s thirsty for a drink.

Before he knows it, he’s swimming

in his own image.

His shrieks echo.

Echo shrieks.

She flies to the edge of the lake,

to find the monster

that drew him to his death.

But none appears,

till the sun leans in

to shed light on the surface

of the water.

Echo sees herself.

White flowers fall from her hair.

April 12, 2013 (The Near Death Experience of A.J. Ayer)

Fri, 12 Apr 2013 14:58:00 -0400

I want the graveyard.
I want it the way
plants that are kept
indoors want the rain,
without ever having felt it.
So I walk through the hail
to the graveyard.
I walk through the dark
to the graveyard.
And I stand in the hail
in the dark
in the graveyard.
And I wait for
something to happen.
Where are the
ghosts?
Ayer,
you didn’t believe
in ghosts till you
almost became one.
Some come back
and say that the light
they saw was white.
You said yours was red,
and it hurt.
Who do you think decides
who gets red and who gets white?
Is there light at all?
It’s dark
and the graves
don’t stir.
I’ll leave here
as a skeptic,
though I was
a mystic
when I came.

April 11, 2013

Thu, 11 Apr 2013 18:16:21 -0400

Berries hang
like jewels
from chains.
Black butterflies
seize the sky.
The pond alone
stays calm in this
untimely cold.
I can’t tell
smoke from sky
except for the way
it curls. The
landscape is
breathless

April 8, 2013

Mon, 08 Apr 2013 16:07:40 -0400

The bush with the orange leaves
is always burning down. All day
she’s burning down, saying,
“I’d like to shadow the sun
and learn the ways
of glowing
softly.”

April 5, 2013

Fri, 05 Apr 2013 10:23:43 -0400

I asked the fruit in the bowl
why it refuses to rot.
It said it’s waiting
to be painted.

Then it asked me about
the lines at my lips
and I told it about
our faces,

how they record
the way they contort
over the years.
And how

we go grey before we go
cold. I said sorry
I’m not much of a painter
and sorry

you had to spend your prime
sitting in this kitchen
till you’re brown and
no one wants you.

April 2, 2013 (But I Know I’ll Wish I’d Saved It

Tue, 02 Apr 2013 14:47:57 -0400

Wind sweeps the window
and rain smears across it
like ink on a page.
I’m trying
to count the drops before
they fall.

Sarah’s just beyond
the glass.
She takes her time
coming inside.

She takes her camera
to the sound of the rain
and tries to photograph it,
the sound.

She dreams
of autumn leaves all year round.
She wears
night around her neck

and so I tell her,
“Die now and you’re going
to regret it.”

I’d like to throw away this poem.

March 27, 2013

Wed, 27 Mar 2013 21:29:17 -0400

Daylight
retreats behind the horizon.
The rain
we have been dancing
for comes onto us.
It washes our hands
and our faces and we
shed our sweaters.
We open our arms
in soap operatic fashion
and the rain says,
“Sorry I’m late. I just wanted
to watch you dance.”
So we dance
in it.

March 24, 2013

Sun, 24 Mar 2013 18:36:54 -0400

The sun hits the hilltops in zigzags.
Night hasn’t fallen for
days, and we miss reading
stories into stars.

Prelude to a Poem

Mon, 18 Mar 2013 20:37:27 -0400

The cold cracks open
the skin on the backs of my hands.
I’m wearing the scarf you sent me.
It’s so long it drags for feet
behind my feet.

Stars are few and far between tonight,
but brighter than the sky is dark.
The pond beneath my feet,
my love,
is slippery as memory.

Don’t you ever tire
of this hideous paradise,
where words turn lead into gold?

March 16, 2013

Sat, 16 Mar 2013 18:40:19 -0400

Mother Earth says she loves

the other planets more

than she could ever love

the sun.

Her hair is both blue and grey.

Her nails are as red as the blood they draw.

Friend, I am nowhere if not with you

and I am not with you.

I am angry, and it drives me

to wild generosity. I’m tipping

twice what I should at restaurants.

Nobody wants to talk, my friend.

Even fewer people want to listen.

We’re guilty of every deadly sin

and yet we’re still alive.

I’d move but movement means

nothing, unless the world around you holds

still. It never does.

Three Monologues About a Closet

Thu, 14 Mar 2013 16:30:00 -0400

CHARACTERS

RUBY College student, female, 18-22

GABI College student, female, 18-22

LEX College student, female,18-22

SETTING

The girls’ dorm room at Bennington College. It is nighttime. The stage is lit with small bedside lamps. Sounds from the woods outside may creep in from time to time.

TIME

March 2013

(LEX stands between RUBY and a tall, narrow, wooden closet, as if to block RUBY’s path. GABI watches them from the far side of the room).

RUBY

(Wheeling around to address GABI)

Who gets the closet? Who wants the closet? Sometimes I hear scratching from the inside of that closet. We need to get rid of it. We need to get rid of all his things. Send them in a package to his parents. Or donate them to people who need them so much they don’t care they belonged to our roommate, who’s dead, who’s clawing at the wood from the inside. When you need something enough, you don’t care that it’s haunted. I keep thinking I see Jonah around campus, even in blue-eyed faces, though his eyes were yellow-green, like the color of grass at the beginning of spring.

(Turning back to LEX)

Get out of my way; I’m getting rid of that closet. I can’t stand the sounds. Move. What are you hiding in there? Dogs? Drugs? Candles? Knives? It’s dogs. Sometimes I hear barking from the inside of that closet. I’m calling campus safety now. I’ll tell them you’ve got a pit bull. They’ll throw you out. No. I don’t want to be left alone here. What are you hiding in there? A lover? Is that it? Sometimes I hear moaning from the inside of that closet. And sometimes I hear music. The kind he used to play, that jazzy folk I liked so much. I liked his music but I hated him; he made nothing but music and mistakes. Why did he do it? Why? You know it was on purpose. Get out of my way or I’ll hurt you. I’ve got scissors. I’ll slice you in half, or I’ll split you seven ways, like white light through a prism. Please. I don’t want to be one of the guilty ones, the ones who do things they regret. The ones outlived by regret. Please.

GABI

You’re both making a big fuss out of nothing. A big fuss. So the guy died. One of us might as well keep the closet, since it doesn’t seem like they’re going to move anybody new in here, since it’s one thing to take a haunted closet, and entirely another to sleep in a haunted bed. Common sense, guys. I’m not superstitious. I’m a logical creature. But even I wouldn’t crawl beneath those sheets. But the closet’s just a closet. No ghosts in a closet. Think about it. Imagine you’re a ghost; you gonna waste your time in a closet? No. Too claustrophobic; no room for floating. And that’s what ghosts like to do, right? Float around and curse things. What’s there to curse in a closet? Sweaters? Pants? Shoes? No self-respecting ghost is gonna waste his time in a closet. Trust me on this one. Now, I don’t know about you guys, but I could use the extra storage space. And I’m not about to pass it up just because two of my roommates believe that there’s an evil spirit lurking behind those doors, seeking a bloody vengeance. That wouldn’t be practical, now, would it? You two have over-active imaginations, but I don’t. I don’t. I have too much stuff, is what I have. I’ve been out shopping every day this week, every day since he died. There’s a closet available, and I’m gonna fill it. Come on, guys, we gotta take advantage of the situation! We can have more people over! There’s more space in the room! We don’t ever have to stay up all night listening to his hipster band play hipster tunes, ever again! This isn’t so bad. I went shopping. I bought us clothes. I just need a place to keep them. I bought all kinds of clothing, flowy dresses, skin-tight dresses, men’s clothes! I don’t know your sizes, so I bought everything in every size they had. I have too much stuff. It barely fit in my car. I have nowhere to put it all.

LEX

No. We’re not going to use the closet. We’re not going to donate it either. Just let me handle it. Let me handle it, okay? I can explain. No! What would I be hiding? You think I’m the one with something to hide? Jonah’s the one who was hiding. I had nothing… I had very little to do with any of it. I was just trying to pay my way through school. He had a business…

(She opens the closet. It is stocked with syringes, pill bottles, and little bags of white powder).

He offered me 20 percent of his sales for keeping the secret, and another 30 percent if I took over when he had class. I never tried any of it. I don’t even think he tried it until the day he… It was Friday morning, the first blue sky of the season. The temperature was up in the 50s. He had astrophysics, and I was supposed to take over for those two hours. But nobody rang, and nobody stopped by his window, and after 45 minutes, I decided I’d go for a walk. That’s it, a walk. A walk. I killed him with a walk. You have to understand, it had been cloudy out for months, and I missed seeing the blue behind the hilltops, I missed the blue that was almost green, above the green that was almost yellow on the ground. I missed the colors. And I thought I’d come back quickly, but it turns out I also missed sunsets, and stars, and silver rain. I didn’t like staying inside and waiting for customers to call. By the time I came back to the room, it was late; Orion was in the sky. I came back and the room was empty; you guys were out at a party, and he was gone. I opened the cabinet. It was empty too. Someone must have stolen everything, which meant he was in big trouble, because he borrowed the money to buy the stuff, and then made a profit off it and repaid the loan. That’s how he did business. I called him. I meant to apologize. But he didn’t pick up. Listen, you have to forgive me. I didn’t know… It turns out he had some extra stuff under his bed, which is what he must have used the next day when he… anyway, I found the rest of it, and I put it in the closet, because some people are still buying. They aren’t superstitious. And I need the money. So you two are going to keep quiet about this. I’ll give you a cut, or something.